tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post2808940382373495995..comments2023-11-19T05:18:18.363-05:00Comments on Emily White: NaNoWriMo Novel ExcerptUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-21922807541995623692010-11-10T08:26:46.393-05:002010-11-10T08:26:46.393-05:00Very nice! I already sympathize with your MC and w...Very nice! I already sympathize with your MC and was sorry to come to the end of the chapter. Congrats on finishing NaNo so early!Lisa Pottshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11676087488599338569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-85979247139411110762010-11-10T06:04:04.585-05:002010-11-10T06:04:04.585-05:00Thanks, Donna and Melissa!Thanks, Donna and Melissa!Emily Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06478461123707071108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-19439946845931514702010-11-10T00:28:43.760-05:002010-11-10T00:28:43.760-05:00Emily, Wow. I thought this was great. I really lik...Emily, Wow. I thought this was great. I really like the voice of the MC. I'm really anxious to see more of this. Great job.Melissa Gillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02700191547004665402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-30423026808568959332010-11-09T22:27:58.357-05:002010-11-09T22:27:58.357-05:00Not bad at all. Lots of character development. S...Not bad at all. Lots of character development. Some subtle hints as to plot. Last line was a great transition into the next chapter, and into the meat of the novel.<br /><br />Good job.<br /><br />......dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-82612783619481336202010-11-09T20:31:41.762-05:002010-11-09T20:31:41.762-05:00J.C.--Hehehe! Yeah, I'm still in shock that I...J.C.--Hehehe! Yeah, I'm still in shock that I wrote that quickly. But you're doing great! Almost 11,000 already? That's a lot better than I'd ever done in my past first drafts.<br /><br />Keep it going!Emily Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06478461123707071108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-7503256916229072242010-11-09T20:24:16.111-05:002010-11-09T20:24:16.111-05:00It's a brilliant opening chapter! I'm sure...It's a brilliant opening chapter! I'm sure after a bit of polishing this will be a stellar novel! Can't believe you've hit 50k already with more than half the month to go! Can you add your word count to mine to help me out? ;)J.C. Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01567971311643106302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-32844971144316541602010-11-09T15:28:03.619-05:002010-11-09T15:28:03.619-05:00Ahh--HOW was I not following your blog???? I thoug...Ahh--HOW was I not following your blog???? I thought I was! #Shannonfail<br /><br />Well...I've remedied the problem now. And just in time. Lovely excerpt. Glad to se NaNo's going well. Go Go Go!Shannon Messengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08003607156860716462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-17568416378665347042010-11-09T15:10:12.930-05:002010-11-09T15:10:12.930-05:00Thanks, Jen! :D Boy you guys are making me feel s...Thanks, Jen! :D Boy you guys are making me feel silly for being terrified.<br /><br />Carol--I'll be honest, I almost didn't post it. I eventually decided that out of all the traits a writer should posses, pride wasn't one of them. Not unless you want to get a real kick in the pants.<br /><br />Vic--Tee hee. You're so cute! And you do know I was thinking about you, right? :D<br /><br />Jai--I don't think it's ever a guarantee that anyone different would immediately be cast aside and ridiculed. But I do know that, in high school especially, the way you view yourself dictates how others view you. Lilly's one of those girls who is so convinced she's a freak and that everyone will make fun of her that that's exactly what they do.Emily Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06478461123707071108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-14459620687701954392010-11-09T13:36:38.708-05:002010-11-09T13:36:38.708-05:00Emily, for a first chapter that's totally raw ...Emily, for a first chapter that's totally raw and untouched, this is very good. The first line immediately drew me in and I quickly sympathised with the main character.<br /><br />There was an albino girl at my elementary school. I remember watching her and been amazed at her pink eyes but I never said anything mean to her. I don't remember even thinking anything like 'freak' in relation to her. I just thought it was beautiful that she was different. But I was different too since I was one of the only Indian kids in the school and I had to deal with mean people. It's highly possible she suffered that way too.<br /><br />I never discussed it with anyone so I don't know.<br /><br />All in all, great work, Emily! If the rest of the book is as good as this first chapter then you've got a fab story on your hands.<br /><br />JaiJai Joshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04858987106548357551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-19583212067428978512010-11-09T12:53:31.705-05:002010-11-09T12:53:31.705-05:00emily!
this is SO exciting!
i really enjoyed it!
i...emily!<br />this is SO exciting!<br />i really enjoyed it!<br />i scrolled to the bottom and thought "oh no, long post, running outta time... ah, just a little peek." and then was TOTALLY drawn in. It's a great intro. The editing needed isn't anything big, just... polishing- as you say. if you ever need a really slow second eye... :)vic caswell https://www.blogger.com/profile/01218698236837610704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-65711726849734846882010-11-09T11:19:45.197-05:002010-11-09T11:19:45.197-05:00Way cool, an albino MC! Nicely unique. Kudos for y...Way cool, an albino MC! Nicely unique. Kudos for your bravery in posting it (tho I agree, NOT bad for a first draft, really! Especially one written as fast as you wrote it.)Carol Riggshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14092209912983783974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-85928603013043777932010-11-09T11:19:15.945-05:002010-11-09T11:19:15.945-05:00Oooo I love!!! Emily you are gifted!Oooo I love!!! Emily you are gifted!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03667521490706435608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-60012595157149618402010-11-09T11:18:51.659-05:002010-11-09T11:18:51.659-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Carol Riggshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14092209912983783974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-58574163400778205392010-11-09T08:55:40.699-05:002010-11-09T08:55:40.699-05:00Thanks, Christi! This is my first albino characte...Thanks, Christi! This is my first albino character ever! I really loved having her stand out like this, and going through how an albino might actually feel about the gawking.Emily Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06478461123707071108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250095548371624935.post-19108367831339883162010-11-09T08:45:38.510-05:002010-11-09T08:45:38.510-05:00It's actually a lot better than some finished ...It's actually a lot better than some finished stuff I've seen :-)<br /><br />I've got a thing for albinos. POSTMORTAL, the one I'm querying, is about albinos, and my WIP has an albino skunk :-)Christi Goddardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08590491851753709622noreply@blogger.com