Goober Writers Anonymous--Query of Horror

Due to some technical difficulties, Melissa Gill's GWA post will be postponed until tomorrow.  Until then, I thought you might enjoy seeing my very first query.  This query preceeds everything I ever learned by following blogs, agent websites, etc.  It is actually the product of some research, but very bad advice that I wish I had never gotten.  I quite literally made every mistake possible.  Unfortunately, the site I found giving out query advice told me to do precisely what you'll see below.  Please don't laugh too hard; I'm humiliated enough. ;)

Enjoy!

Dear Sir or Madam:

The war between good and evil has always fascinated mankind.  The line drawn between the two have always been apparent and each of us has crossed that line many times throughout our lives.  But what if we had to choose one side over the other?  What if it was all or nothing?

In Tales of Morcah, which is nearing completion at 50,081 words, Lillian is a beautiful woman who craves wisdom beyond anything else and because of this is easily corrupted by Delegor, the Gatekeeper to the Door of Morcah; a land filled with hopelessness and pure evil.  Michael, the Guardian, is the last in a long line of warriors who have been sworn to defend the world from the darkness that invades the land. And Inri, a unicorn, though quiet and unassuming, turns out to be much more than he at first seems.  “He is wise indeed and the choices he makes have a lasting effect,” Michael replied.  “There is still much of him that I cannot fathom, but I suspect his purpose is far greater than he lets on.” Michael and Inri are the leading characters on the side of Good and Lillian’s ultimate decision of which side she chooses will not be determined until the sequel, Rumors of War, in outline form. 

I spent most of my time writing Tales of Morcah while deployed in Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.  I have an Associates degree in Liberal Arts: Humanities and Social Sciences and have had ten articles published on www.Helium.com.  My most popular articles include: Should the U.S. Pull Out Its Troops Regardless of Whether Iraq is Ready to Defend Its People, Will There Ever be a Chance for World Peace, and How to Fight for what You Think is Right.  

My contact information is listed above.

Thank you for your time and consideration.  I look forward to hearing from you.

                                                                                      Sincerely,

                                                                                      Emily T. White

This was actually a snail mail query, so the whole contact information line was right, but that's the only thing I did correctly.  Sigh.  Embarrassing.  

I still can't believe I sent this out before I finished writing the book.  *slaps forehead*  Oh well.  Live and learn.

~Emily White