Thursday, April 15, 2010

A Bit About Me--Obsessions

I've been feeling a strong desire to reveal some things about myself to you, my lovely readers. I don't know why. It almost feels like I'm trying to get something off my chest. Like, "well, now you know why I'm this way." Haha!

I tend to think I'm a rather odd person; quirky, but downright adorable. :) Maybe it's my quirky little self that wants to reveal all my deep, dark secrets. Dun, dun, dun!

So today we'll start with my obsessive behavior...

Throughout my entire life, I've had a rather vivid imagination. Growing up in the country as the baby of the family whose siblings are six and eight years older than me, I was forced to play with myself a lot. None of my neighbors (who lived on the other side of the woods that surrounded my house) had children my age. It was a lonely life, but I loved it. I would play in the woods for hours, pretending I was in some mystical fairy land or pre-colonial America, braving the great wilderness, searching for adventures. Sometimes, I would ride my bike up and down my driveway for hours, pretending I was on some cross-country voyage.

It was awesome.

But this imaginative spirit always drew me to different movies or books that would particularly spark my interest and get my mind reeling. There are four great obsessions that I've lived through in my life--one of them, I'm living through right now.

The first one lasted for years and got me through a particularly trying time in my childhood. I can't remember my exact age, but I do know that I was in elementary school when it started and it lasted really up until my sophomore year. This particular obsession was triggered by a movie (in fact, all but this last one have been). You'll laugh but that's okay. It was The Mighty Ducks. It's okay, I'll give you a minute...

Done laughing yet?


I don't know what it was about those movies that got me so addicted. Perhaps it was the comradeship between all the members in the team--something I was lacking. I loved the idea of belonging to a group, rather than being the outcast. So for a while, I let my mind roam and pretend I was a part of that. I even had all the characters' names memorized, plus their real names, and their jersey numbers. I was a sad little girl. *shakes head* I will admit that I had a huge crush on Fulton Reed #44 (one of the Bash Brothers). I saw the second movie a couple weeks ago and could no longer see the draw. I mean really, why did they give him a girl's haircut??

My second obsession was Spiderman. This one started in college because that's when the movie was coming out. I was always a fan of the cartoon, but when I saw the first preview for the movie, I was entirely infatuated. All of my notebooks were completely covered in Spiderman pictures. I even had the one of Spiderman with the reflection of the World Trade Center towers in his eye. My boyfriend worked at Media Play at the time and happened to snag the HUGE outdoor poster for the movie before they threw it away. You know, the one that's like 20' x 15'.

I counted down each and every day until that movie came out. I bought the toys (still have them, unopened), the posters, the socks, the shirts, the little boy's boxers that I wore as pajama bottoms. I would get into arguments with my friends at college about who would win in a fight: batman or spiderman. Obviously we all know the answer to that one; batman isn't even a superhero.

My third obsession was The Lord of the Rings. And this included the movies and the book. By this one, though, my capacity for obsessing had gone down significantly. With my first, I would often spiral down into fantasies, pretending I was in on it, but that was really the only one. I was drawn to spiderman and Frodo Baggins for the same reason I was drawn to all the kids in The Mighty Ducks, and for the same reason I'm drawn to my newest obsession--the underdogs win. And yeah, you could probably say that that's true for every story, but to me, these stories epitomized it like nothing else. I connected with the Mighty Ducks kids' feelings of failure and not being good enough, with spiderman's feelings of rejection, and Frodo Baggins's feelings of helplessness, fighting against something that was so much greater and stronger than him.

And I've fallen into my fourth obsession (though it's much more subdued than the rest) because I've lived Bella Swan's life (minus the sparkly vampire). I've always been clumsy, awkward, and weak. And you know what? I even went through a phase in my life where I came from one place where I was nothing and went into another place, soon wishing Walmart carried a man repellent. It's not fun. In fact, it's rather overwhelming.

Bella goes through all these things, but finally finds someone she can count on. She's weak and has horrible bad luck, but Edward's there to take care of her. And this happened to me. Despite everything I went through growing up (i'm not going to get into it now), I found someone who can carry me through it to get past it. So I connect with her. And I'll admit it, I'm obsessed.

So how about you. Has there been any book or movie that you've particularly connected with? Or am I alone, being the crazy person that I am? ;)

~Emily White


  1. I'm glad that you told us some stuff about yourself. I totally relate! I too was the youngest of a family where the older kids were much older than me. I too spent a lot of time playing by myself. I too became obssessed with stories and entertained myself by pretending I was in those stories.

    I was obssessed with the Mahabharat, with Roald Dahl, with Narnia, with Jane Austen, and with Shakespeare. That about covers it.


  2. Ha! Dial up internet. I remember those days, and shudder.

  3. Oooh, Jai, I love Narnia too. Sadly, I wasn't really introduced to it until just a few years ago. Yes, I knew about it, but I'd never had an interest in reading it until my nephews started reading the series. Now, I definitely consider C.S. Lewis one of my writing role models.

  4. I share your Spider-Man obsession, but for much, much longer. I first discovered Spider-Man on The Electric Company, a kid's show that was on in the mid-70's (I know. I'm so very old). That led to my obsession with comic books, which continues to this day. I discovered Star Wars, Narnia, and LOTR roughly around the same time when I was six, and still carry those obsessions, too. Musically, I find myself obsessed with the late, great October Project, and Matthew Sweet.
    Oh, and donuts.
    'Though that's more philosophical choice than obsession.


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